Befriend a Culinary Student

If you want to eat food that is above average to great, for free, and fairly often, then do yourself a favor: become friends with a culinary student. With all the Culinary Schools popping up in Seattle, there are hundreds (thousands, even?) of currently enrolled culinary students. Most of these culinary students don't actually have any restaurant experience. These aren't the pirate crew ex-cons that you might hear about from Tony Bourdain's shows and/or books. These are nice, likable people that used to work as corporate assistants, retail managers, accountants, etc. They wanted a change in life and decided that making food for people was the channel for extroversion they really needed. You, my friend, are just the person that they want to cook for-- Someone who likes food, doesn't fine dine, and would appreciate anything they made for you. Before any of you get your panties in a bunch, let me tell you that I myself am a culinary student. With that said, there is one thing you should know: when culinary students make food for someone, it's 25% them trying to make you happy and 75% ego masturbation. We want to make you food, that we'll usually pay for, because we want you to take it in and tell us how great our food is. "Oh my god, this is sooo good" or even just a smile, eye roll and "mmmmmm" are what we are looking for. It is completely similar to sex. COMPLETELY. We put something inside you. You tell us how good it is. There may be a foodgasm or multiple foodgasms, depending on the skill and technique of the cook. Then, everyone feels sleepy afterward. WARNING: some culinary students want constructive feedback so they can actually be better cooks. If you didn't like something they made, tell them and tell them why you didn't like it. This means they will try even harder to make something you like next time. HOWEVER, some students don't! They think they know everything or take things way too personally. In this case, you have an obligation to fulfill if you want them to make you food again: You have to fake a foodgasm (Demonstration).
Honestly, befriend a culinary student. You'll eat better, and if nothing else, you'll have a new drinking buddy that knows some great happy hours.

Sidenote: The image above is the property of Jason Fassio (myself). I made that dish. It's Cedar Planked Salmon with a Hazelnut Fennel Frond Butter Sauce, Sauteed Asparagus and Roasted Potatoes. You wanna eat something like it? Be my friend or befriend a culinary student.

-J