So we've all seen that show Hoarders, right? You know, the one where the state busts into a house overflowing with old newspapers, 50 cats, 10-year old cheese and cleans it all out? Well, next time, instead of cringing in disgust while watching, just think of all the things you could be rescuing from that hovel. I speak from experience. Some exposition ...
A few months back, a friend of my mother's died. I know, I know, condolences, thank you. Now as it turns out, this friend had spent her formative years as a groupie popular with the pro-wrestling circuit. Well, one thing led to another, and pretty soon she found herself mother to Andre the Giant's child, on Hardcopy, and in the middle of a lawsuit (yep, you heard me right - ouch! [and I'm not talking about the lawsuit]). On top of all that illustriousness, she was a seamstress (oh, and a serious hoarder of crap - that wasn't just a tangent I was on). Whoa-oh!
So when my mom and Baby Mama's (as we affectionately call her) sister went to clean out her house, some friends and I went along for the ride. And after we'd strapped on gloves, got over the grit, grime and bugs, we knew we'd hit the jackpot. I'm talking serious haul; it was like the greatest, free garage sale on earth. On top of the endless costumes, we found three real fur coats, bookcases, desks and a table, board games, retro-yet-still-somehow-trendy purses, posters, a pair of pants that Rod Stewart once wore, boxes full of candid, signed photos of rock stars, and a jacket with a backstage pass to an Alice Cooper show pinned to it. Oh, also a life-sized, cardboard cutout of Andre.
It may sound like a string of good luck that lead us to this house, but the important thing to remember is that there is crap everywhere. And crap is free. Don't ever turn down a chance to get some free crap. Especially from places that aren't open to the general public. This means neighbor's garages, family attics, and, yes, the leftover house of a hoarder.
-K
So when my mom and Baby Mama's (as we affectionately call her) sister went to clean out her house, some friends and I went along for the ride. And after we'd strapped on gloves, got over the grit, grime and bugs, we knew we'd hit the jackpot. I'm talking serious haul; it was like the greatest, free garage sale on earth. On top of the endless costumes, we found three real fur coats, bookcases, desks and a table, board games, retro-yet-still-somehow-trendy purses, posters, a pair of pants that Rod Stewart once wore, boxes full of candid, signed photos of rock stars, and a jacket with a backstage pass to an Alice Cooper show pinned to it. Oh, also a life-sized, cardboard cutout of Andre.
It may sound like a string of good luck that lead us to this house, but the important thing to remember is that there is crap everywhere. And crap is free. Don't ever turn down a chance to get some free crap. Especially from places that aren't open to the general public. This means neighbor's garages, family attics, and, yes, the leftover house of a hoarder.
-K
Did you guys that the cardboard cut out?
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't fit in anyone's car because it's so huge. So it's still waiting there for us. We wanted to take it home and put it in Tracy's bed.
ReplyDeleteSo many harry potter action figures!
ReplyDelete